Wednesday, April 28, 2010

What is a Friend?

"How rare and wonderful is that flash of a moment
when we realize we have discovered a friend."
What is it that makes a good friend? As a parent we want our children to be as happy as they can be at home and also when we eventually have to set them free in the world. Whether it be preschool, grade school, high school, college, and then out on their own. How do we prepare our children for the unkindness and disappointments they will inevitably encounter?

My sister just had to give me a pep talk the other day, because I was feeling sad and discouraged about the ongoing kindness I had shown a "friend" of mine who all of a sudden vanished from my friend radar. I am thirty nine and it hurt just the way it did when friends were like the ice cream flavor of the week in grammar school. I did not understand it then and I sure don't get it now. However, my big sister put it all into perspective for me. She shared a quote that shed some clarity about this journey we are all on.

“People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime."

I thought about this friend and the changes she had experienced in her life and realized that in that particular time frame of our lives it made absolute sense that we were mommy pals. Our children were the same age and our interests similar. However, she had a change of itinerary that took her journey on another road.

I have always thought of a friend as a lifetime traveling buddy. To share our stories, adventures and memories together over an entire lifespan. I am that type of a friend. I have a difficult time with the part time passengers, but I am learning that not everyone is that invested in the work that goes into burgeoning a true friendship.

I have been blessed with some amazing friends. They have been with me for the happy times and also the most tragic ones. They listen to me complain and they appreciate my compassion and advice in times of need. They do not tire of me and are "always" there. That is a true friend. My father used to repeat Lee Iacocca's quote: "When you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life."

It was good that I experienced this recently. It allowed me to take a disappointment and turn it into another lesson learned. It will prepare me as a mom to handle similar situations as they arise in Little Chick's life.


  1. By writing this blog an old friendship that meant a lot to me was rekindled.

  2. A true friend is really something to hold on to. Thank you for sharing the quote your sister had given you. It really puts things into perspective.

  3. I know the feeling of trying to get to know and understand friends. I'm so excited you were able to rekindle your friendship. At a later age they really seem hard to build. Thanks for sharing. Following you via mbc and via mama's nest.



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