Wednesday, August 25, 2010

My Whole World Stopped

"One person can be the light that carries you through life."
~Mama Hen
I can remember that day so vividly when my Daddy passed away twelve years ago. My whole world stopped! I was doing my internship for teaching and I happened to wear a pretty skirt that day to school. On my way home something told me to stop an exit early off the highway and visit my Dad's office so he could see me dressed up. I am a bit of a tomboy and love wearing comfortable clothes. I knew my Dad would get a kick out of me looking all dolled up (yikes, the tears are coming down as I write this post). I can remember the sun filtering through the windows into his bright office. I walked in and like always ran to him for a hug saying, "Daddy, I love you!" He was such a light in my life and whenever we would see one another my face would beam with happiness. That particular day was a very special one for my father, because he had worked so hard to start up a new bank (which today is very successful) and he was being honored at a banquet that evening. He asked me if I would sit and listen to his speech. Being the typical young self consumed kid I normally would have said, not now Daddy, I need to go. However, that day I sat down with such an eagerness to hear him practice his speech. I starred at him with awe and love and such a proud feeling within. He kept looking at me with such a huge smile as he spoke. I couldn't stop eyeing his cuff links. They were a beautiful light blue stone and I kept thinking about how cute my Daddy was to match his tie so nicely with his cuff links. While doing his speech he cracked a joke and asked me what I thought of it. He said, "The people are really going to like this one" with a radiant smile and giggle as he said it. When he was done I praised him and gave him the biggest hug. I wished him well and I went home.
That night I was with a friend of mine out to dinner. I kept complaining that my heart hurt and I felt sad. I told her I did not know why. I went on and on about feeling so much pressure in my chest and sad. When I got home the phone rang. It was my godmother. She said something happened to my Dad and that she would pick me up and take me to him. I screamed and cried all the way to the hospital. No one told me he had passed away (from a heart attack). When I saw him I asked why he was asleep. Talk about traumatic. I won't go on because it is so very sad and I went through a very difficult time after that.
What I wanted to share in this post was how God gave me the greatest gift of being able to see my Daddy one more time and to really be there for him and listen to his speech. I will never forget his smile as he gave his speech to me in his office. He was so incredibly important in my life and I see so much of him in Little Chick. Believe it or not, he died while cracking that silly joke during his speech! That is my Daddy! Making people smile all the way to the end!

44 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry. What a beautiful tribute written to your daddy. My dad had a heart attack too. At a young age and it was such a shock. But amazingly, he lived. I can't think of anything really comforting to say...
    except that I am just so very sorry. No doubt he would be so proud of you and little chick. He was a very handsome man and clearly you were blessed to have such an amazing father in your life, although his time was cut way too short.
    Hugs,
    Gina

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  2. WOW. I am seriously speechless. May God bless you and your family - always. Honestly.. best post yet.

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  3. What a beautiful tribute to your father. That is wonderful that you see him in little chick. He seems like he was an amazing father.
    Lolo

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  4. Such a wonderful, heartfelt tribute to your daddy! He was a very handsome man with a beautiful smile. And you can see the love he had for you in that last pic. God bless you and your family!

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  5. Wow, you are so strong to share this! This had me in tears! I really do believe that God gave you a chance to have a very special last moment with your father! I think that it speaks volumes about how strong a relationship is when someone can just sense the loss before even knowing what has happened. I am so sorry that you had such a hard time after all of that, Lord knows I would have too! Just remember your dad is still with you because he lives within you! He had a beautiful smile, you are so lucky to have had such an amazing father!

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  6. I enjoyed your post today, so many wonderful reads on your blog. I followed you. Thanks for the support of Self Sagacity.com, and have a great day.

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  7. what a beautiful tribute to your father. He must have been an incredible man. I really do think Chick looks like him in a lot of ways. You are able to cherish your relationship all these years and remember things in such detail...amazing! God Bless your father.

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  8. Oh, my eyes are filled with tears. The minute i saw his picture, I thought how much your little chick resembles him. What a tragic story of his passing. My own dad passed 7 years ago and it was, to this day, the very worst time of my life. I thank you for sharing this story with us - I know it must have been hard to write and go through the motions again - but if you are like me, you probably rethink those days over and over. Please know that he lives on in you and that darling baby girl of yours. He would be so proud of the WONDERFUL Mom you have become. I am certain he is smiling down at you!

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  9. wow what an incredible post. your strength is inspiring. thanks for sharing this story (-:
    www.yesterdayontuesday.com

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  10. Oh, Mama Hen. My heart goes out to you. Because I know from previous posts how dearly you loved your father and what a special and loving relationship the two of you shared, I know that writing this post must have been difficult for you. Thank you for sharing your story. It is a true testament to the importance of taking the time to "be there" for the ones we love! I, too, am glad you were blessed to share such a special moment with your dad before he passed unexpectedly. You seem to draw a certain strength form knowing your dad is with you in spirit and he lives on in Little Chick. Blessings, EW

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  11. Wow, that's so touching. I'm tearing up as well. So happy he was able to see you all dolled up, and that you were able hear his speech. You came out of this grief such a great woman and I am sure he so proud of you and your little chick :) xxxx

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  12. Wow, I do see a lot of your father in Little Chick. He was a handsome man. I beleive your father is with you right now too, doing what he can to protect you and make sure you and Little Chick have a happy life. I lost my father (back in 2007) from heart disease. To make a long story short, God gave me an opportunity to spend a wonderful last visit with him that ended with a strong embrace that I will never forget. My heart goes out to you Mama Hen. May your dad's incredible warmth and smile always be shining down on you.

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  13. oh Mama Hen, i don't know what to say. What a man your daddy must have been. how sweet that Little has so much of him... how beautifully God timed your meeting with him on his last day. i'm all teary now...

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  14. I am here today as a new member of The Nestwork. I was thinking and feeling rather out of place actually as I am far older than all you girls here! I am an 'Empty Nester' However reading this about you and your Dad has made me feel that maybe there is a place for me here after all :) Well written poignant piece, my Dad died just a few years ago and I still miss him terribly.
    Thanks for calling by my blog and commenting, I hope uou will call by again.

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  15. Such a beautiful story. You are right...the hurt never goes away! I find I'm sad a few days before my dad's birthday and the anniversary of his death. Don't even realize why at first. It's that connection! My Dad passed 35 years ago and I still feel it! ((HUGS))

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  16. What a story, Mama Hen -- I love how you're able to remember the positives in such a hard time. My Dad had a heart attack when I was 15 and was very sick but he pulled through. We had been fighting at that time (typical teenage stuff) and afterwards I had the same nightmare over and over again that he hadn't made it and all the guilt I felt. I was so lucky though, we've had a wonderful relationship that has gotten even stronger as I've gotten older. He's dealt with some major health issues over the years and is recently recuperating from being really sick, your post brought up a lot of feelings for me. Thanks so much for sharing! GREAT photos : ) Your Dad looks like he was really a special person : )

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  17. Great post, Mama. This letter is gorgeous. WHat a great man to tell your daughter about. I never really knew my real father, and if I could have had 10 minutes of what you had, I'd be a lucky woman.

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  18. Thanks for sharing. Your father sure was a handsome man. Isn't it crazy how God can send us signs. The day my dad died my mom had us out back to school shopping and I kept telling her I wanted to go home becuase my stomach was hurting so we cut the trip early, good thing we did or my daddy would have died all alone. I made it home in time to show him a few outfits I got then like that he was saying his back hurt and the next thing I knew he was laying on the floor crying. I guess he knew then and there it was his time to go. I just wish my little brother who was 14 mo. when he died had a chance to know how wonderful his father was. My dad lives on in all of us and I guess 11 years is better than no time at all. My dad was only 43 but he did a lot in those years and touched a lot of people's lives and God needed him up in heaven :) same as your dad.

    Your story made me cry as well :( I'm glad you got to spend one last great day with him. Our father's are up in heaven watching out for us and their precious granddaughters :)

    Thanks Mama Hen :)

    Tiffany

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  19. What a wonderful story! Visiting from the little nestwork as a new member! Cute blog!

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  20. What a beautiful post for your father! I lost my Daddy almost 4 years ago to cancer. It is amazing how memories from the day can stand out so vividly in our minds. I remember every detail as well.

    Ashley

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  21. What a beautiful post! I am sorry your daddy was taken away from you so young. Praise God that He gave you such a great father and wonderful memories of him. It's easy to see that LC is getting the same kind of love and care that your father gave you.

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  22. That was so beautiful to read. I could actually imagine you and your dad enjoying that day together and hear him reading you his speech. I'm so very sorry for your loss even if it was years ago a heart will always ache. There is nothing like a Daddy and I wish you had more time with yours but, I am so thankful that the time you did have sounds like it was very special! God Bless you today!! Big hugs:)

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  23. One of the happiest and saddest stories I ever read. God is so good, He gives us signs and we need to listen more. What a wonderful and magnificient man he was especially to give his girls the happiest, most memorable childhood ever!!!!

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  24. Oh, how bittersweet! Sweetheart - how my hearts aches for you yet I love that you got those last memories of such a sweet time shared together. Your Dad really does live through you now and LC is the recipient of that beautiful legacy. Amazing!

    Sending a extra big hug today!!

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  25. This article is about my father-in-law. A man I never had the joy of meeting, he passed 4 months before I came into this family, and yet I feel I know him from the countless stories told to me over the last 11 years that I've been married to his other daughter. Stories told not only by her, but also by Mama Hen and EVERYONE who knew him, that I now know. He was an immensely strong character who built his family on traditional values and family bonds.
    I wish I could have had the pleasure of just one day in his presence. I wish I could have asked him to his face for permission to marry his daughter. Ironically I share his birthday, so I feel a connection. If I am able to achieve half of what he did and raise my children to have strong family values, then I will have had a good life. Rest in peace, Dad, we miss you :(

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  26. This is such a happy and sad inspiring story! It made me cry like a baby.I had to sit some time before typing this comment. My father hasn't passed away yet but the thought just kills me. Its always in the back of my mind. Because when he goes so much will go with him. He treated my mom so well. He raised all of my siblings and I so well. He was an immigrant to the usa and helped bring so many of our family members here. He owns a jewelry company that employs quite a bit of our family including my husband and I. & iono i understand him. I wish he would live forever and his diebetes would go away. but I know he is a sad and lonely soul and he'll be happy in heaven. I know its sounds so melodramatic but Its just means a lot to me. anyway girl take care and make your daddy proud♥ god b with u!

    xx
    anya

    http://theveiledbump.blogspot.com/

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  27. What a wonderful post, Mama Hen. You have some wonderful memories of your Dad. It's so great that you share them with us!

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  28. MH, I am speechless. I hope you are comforted whenever your heart aches. This brought tears as I think about the strong love you and your Dad have. It's beautiful that you got to listen to his speech - amazing how God orchestrated everything to lead you to his office. oh, just thinking about this makes me ache with you. I hope you're having a sweet cherished day, my friend.

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  29. The loss of something so precious leaves a void that just can't be filled. Time helps the grief lessen, but nothing can take that place. My heart goes out to you.

    God is so good to give you the last sweet meeting with your dad, a time that rivets your connection with him forever.

    I understand how you feel because my aunt passed away a few years ago before my beloved cousin's wedding, and the birth of her children. Her mom was the most wonderful person I know and would have been the best grandmother ever. Truly. But instead, she's gone. I don't understand why, it's not my place to question God; I just do what I can to help fill the void - as if it were possible. For her I listen, I babysit, I adore her family like my own.

    For you, I will pray that God will send His comfort and tell you that I am glad to know you. I am always impressed with how you support people with your comments on their blogs. Everywhere I go you've already been there offering words of encouragement!

    May you be encouraged and uplifted by the words of all these wonderful people who truly care about you as we attempt to reciprocate what we have already received from you.

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  30. Mama Hen, Thanks for sharing your story and your last special moments with your father with us. What a reminder to us to live each day to it's fullest, and treasure our family and friends. I'm so glad that you have such wonderful memories and pictures to cling to. Your father is so proud of you and I'm sure he's smiling down on you always.

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  31. Just letting you know that I am following you back.

    http://whatulovereview.blogspot.com/

    Thanks for stopping by.

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  32. Mama Hen, what a beautiful post! I have chills and tears thinking about how hard that day and following days must have been on you and your family. It is so clear how much he touched you and meant to you then and now. Sometimes I think when someone close to you passes away, they were a special gift that was only to be here for a short while - teaching us to live, love, laugh. Those gifts allow us to be strong and your Dad certainly gave you that. Thank you for sharing, I empathize with you and you'll never be alone.

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  33. What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it with all of us. My dad and I didn't have the greatest relationship growing. In fact there was nothing great about it at all. My dad is middle eastern and I am a first born GIRL....need I say more. When I was pregnant with Alice my husband lost his job. My dad took us in. Living with my dad after all these years was a HUGE blessing in disguise. It healed our relationship. Bringing Alie home to live there too was another one of God's mysterious wonders. My dad was so happy to have her there. He is suffering from MS now and spending the day with Alie around really helped him feel better. I've never quite seen my dad smile the way he does when he looks at Alie. We live in AZ now and I miss him so much. I would of NEVER thought that my dad and I would have the relationship we do now. I'm so glad we do. This makes me wanna call him. Thanks Mama Hen for sharing. :)

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  34. What a beautiful post! I am so glad you had that moment with your dad....Thanks for such a heartfelt post...and in looking at the pic you posted at the bottom...your daughter looks alot like him. <3

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  35. So very sorry for your loss. Sounds like your dad was a truly amazing man. How blessed you were to have him in your life. We all must live our lives to the fullest because we just never know what tomorrow brings. You'll be in my prayers and thoughts. Blessings to you...
    Jill

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  36. Wow. This is truly a very beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your story with all of us.
    Now, gratefully following you back.
    www.everydayphilanthropistblog.com

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  37. What a great man- What an amazing legacy he left behind for you and your family. Thank you for sharing this story.

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  38. PRAISE GOD you stopped by. What an amazing last memory with him here on earth...

    -Elizabeth @ Permanently At Lunch

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  39. I'm so sorry, Mama Hen. What beautiful words you wrote in his memory. There's nothing like the relationship between a father and daughter. I miss my dad everyday, too. Big hugs!

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  40. I am so sorry for your loss. I'm such you treasure thus memory of him so much. You are so brave to share it. I'm such a believer in the connections family members have. My mom says she just has to think about one of us kids and we will surely call her within a few minutes. When that thought to call my mom out of the blue comes over me I know she's thinking of me. It's so beautifully strange. Xoxo

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  41. Awe Mama Hen, I'm speechless. Your father is a good man and he's looking down on you from heaven. You will always remember him and he will always love you. I'm a bit of a tomboy myself to (= Keep your faith strong and love lil chick as your father loved you.

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  42. Beautiful post Mama Hen.What a blessing that you were able to spend one last time with your daddy-just the two of you. :)

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  43. What a beautiful tribute to your daddy and so well written that it would give your readers tears!

    Stopped by as a follow back and normally I would just post thanks for the follow and on to the next, but I have to say, this post really spoke to my heart! I am so glad you stopped by my blog and gave me the chance to come visit yours.

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  44. Oh Gosh that is so sad, but beautiful at the same time. Your daddy sounds like an amazing man!

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