I Get Bolder as I Get Older

"Any man worth his salt will stick up for what he believes right, but it takes a slightly better man to acknowledge instantly and without reservation that he is in error." ~Andrew Jackson

I have noticed that since I have become a mom I have begun to emerge out of my shy shell more and more. I have always been rather shy, but as Little Chick gets bigger I have evolved into a more outgoing person. Since my daughter is an only child I feel that it is important to set up playdates and get her in different classes so she can be around other children. I have had to become more vocal and push myself to start up a conversation with other moms, where as before I was a parent I might not have been so bold.

This past week I had two instances where I felt the need to speak up. First, on Little Chick's last day of school a mom came up to me and said, "I don't know how to tell you this, but my son does not want to go to a girl's birthday party." I was flabbergasted that she would even say something like that. About a month ago I had volunteered a lot of my time and money to put together a huge project for the school, teachers and children. I am not sure why, but I think a little jealousy or who knows what formed an opinion in this woman's mind. I don't even know her. I am always very friendly and smiley with everyone I meet throughout the day. I am not sure why there are some people who just can't reciprocate the friendliness. Now I don't really care about myself, but when Little Chick is involved and this child will not join her for her party when she just celebrated his a couple of months ago, then I don't appreciate it. So I just said, "fine." It bothered me though as I went to the car.When I was pulling out of the parking lot I saw her walking to her car and rolled down my window. Yup, shy me was protecting my little baby and her feelings! I said in a friendly voice, "I am starting to take this personally." I told her that ever since I did the project she has not really been so friendly and that I have been really hurt by this. I couldn't believe I said it, but I found it hurtful to say her child does not want to go to my daughter's party. What child does not want to go to a fun bounce house for a party?

The next bold maneuver was over the weekend. I have a neighbor who never waves back to us. Now, Little Chick and I always wave to our neighbors as they pass by and when we go for walks down our street. When this neighbor does not wave back Little Chick always asks me why he doesn't. I tell her that maybe he didn't see us. On Saturday I was pulling out of my driveway and this gentleman passed by and I waved a huge wave! He did not acknowledge it. So instead of going to the store I turned down my street and stopped at his driveway where he was getting out. I said, have I done something to upset you, because you never wave to us? I mentioned how my daughter keeps asking why he won't wave back to her. He looked shocked! He said he didn't even realize it and with a huge smile he said that he would be more conscientious about reciprocating the kind gesture. And he waved a big wave as we drove away.

Where this neighbor simply was unaware of his actions and has now made every effort to put on a big smile and wave to us as he passes by, the mother at the school did not care about my hurt feelings and later emailed me about her son's aversion to going to a girl's party. I am a teacher and feel that every child should participate in class parties to help celebrate with one another. I e-mailed her back one of the friendliest e-mails I have ever written extending the invitation to her daughter, as well. There has been no response. I am finding that as a mom and as I get older I get bolder, but the hurt from insensitive people remains the same.