Sunday, May 23, 2010

High Expectations or Poor Manners?

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak,
but their echoes are endless."
~Mother Teresa

Recently I had a few scenarios that caused me to question whether or not I have high expectations for people or if they simply do not have manners. All of these situations gravitated around not understanding why people don't say a simple thank you anymore. As I have said in past posts, it does not take much to just say a kind word to someone else.

By nature I am a "giver". I tend to want to go way beyond the call of duty to help others and to hopefully see them smile. Oddly, I get more thank yous from Little Chick (a three year old) then I do from adults who should know better. But this is my conundrum! Do they know any better? I know I wrote a post last month called "When You Give, You Get" and it talked about not expecting reactions from the people we give to, but to give because we want to. I believe that, however, there is a point where I truly wonder when people start taking the kindness of others for granted.

We live in a society today where there are many excuses about being so "busy" and "over scheduled" that it seems like people think its OK to hide behind this and at times be, quite frankly, rude. My nature and personality always tries to look at the good side of everything, but when do we stop and say, "Hey, where are your manners?"

We teach our children to say "please" and "thank you", but there are many adults who don't do this themselves. My feelings got hurt quite a bit lately because of this scenario and what I have learned from it is to make sure I am always conscientious of taking the time to be thankful and to say it when it is do. Perhaps my expectations from others will lead to more hurt in the future, but at least I know I am doing the right thing and Little Chick can learn this from my example.

The winner of Sunday's raffle is Amy at Marvelous Mommy! Congratulations!


  1. I agree, so wholeheartedly! Especially -sorry guys- men these days. Polite men are so few and far between that when I meet one I am a complete sucker for him.

    My lil guy will be raised to be a polite little boy... as I am sure Little Chick will be.

    Keep up the good work, mama! :)

  2. I think I always make sure to say please and thank you and mind my manners but I'll def always keep this close to mind.. I would hate for people to think my parents didn't raise me right!

    Have a great day =)

  3. Don't worry, it's not you, [most] people are just rude. I'm the same way you are. I try to be polite even when people are rude, and even when you are, they aren't. I have no answer as to 'why', but it's something I've made a point to teach Joshua. When you give him a sippy cup or anything else, he'll say 'tinchu.' Sometimes he has to be prompted, but hey, he's 13 months old and already has more manners than most adults I've encountered.

    Some people seem to have simply forgotten that others have feelings. They treat people as they would over the computer and it's not fair to those of us who take the time to care about others.

    Little Chick is lucky she has a mama who takes the time to teach her long forgotten things like 'please,' 'thank you,' and 'excuse me.'

  4. Agreed! I also get very frustrated when adults don't give my children the manners that they expect from them...Especially at a grocery store, instead of saying "excuse me" if the boys are in their way, they wait with a stern look on their face. So rude!

  5. It's not you, trust me! I have also wondered where the manners of the general population have run off to. I'm southern and my manners prove it, I'm polite to everyone even if they're rude to me. I go out of my way to be kind, and sometimes I just feel like it's not worth it, but then I rethink it and it is worth it, to me, to be a good person who is polite!

    All we can do is to pass this along to our children and hope that they continue the tradition!

  6. I'm the type of person that holds the door open for everyone...I, like you am on top of my manners/respect for others-But I am also the sarcastic b that I am and can't stand when people who should know better don't....I make it well known to them. If they don't say "Thanks" I will make a very loud "YOUR WELCOME" comment so they know next time they better say Thank You. People are (for lack of better words) nimrods....I can't deal with it. So next time just be sarcastic and say something to piss them off for not using their damn manners.!

  7. Arg...this also makes me mad too. Or maybe more sad?? Either way, I look forward to raising a little gentleman :)

    p.s. I love your quotes :)

  8. Hey MH - this post is why I love coming here. You are a kindred spirit. I love the way you think. And even though the rewards aren't always evident and somtimes seem completely contradictory - our nature is to seek the good.

    You make my heart smile!

    Have a great week.

  9. Thanks, for following me, following you back.

  10. I totally agree with you. I've been in those situations many times, and at one point I had stopped "giving" and so forth. Eventually, I had to tell myself that it doesn't matter what they think, as long as I'm doing what I'm suppose to be doing with a sincere heart.

    I really love your posts, you always find the good things in life, big or small even out of the negative things too. Thanks for making my day!

  11. yah I soo sooo agree with u. Ur a great mother & I am sure lil chic is going to grow up to be a well mannered girl. U can keep ur worries aside!! Smile!
    Love ur posts!

  12. This is a great post and I'm glad you're bringing the subject up.

    It does seem that so many people are neglecting their manners, therefore teaching and modeling poor manners to their children. What I do when someone is rude or thoughtless is just keep smiling and be polite. Other people's rudeness or thoughtlessness will not keep me down!


  13. I have to agree completely, and feel the same as you. I tend to "do" for others, because I want to, and it does make me feel good to help others, but it can be defeating when someone doesn't seem to appreciate your help or they take it for granted. I remember when I first moved to NJ, someone asked me "why do I smile so much?" Hmmm...why not? You should never be too busy to share a smile with someone. :)

    Thanks for stopping by my blog...yours is SO cute! I'm now following you with all 3 of mine!

    Tree (aka Mother of Pearl)
    Mother of Pearl It Is
    Mommies Faves Top Sites and Blogs
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  14. I don't think it's asking for too much to expect someone to have good manners!!

  15. Having manners doesn't take any more time than forgetting them. I think they are REALLY IMPORTANT. At once they convey respect and gratitude, and make the day just that much better. My heart melts when my kids (aged 3 and often reminded) say 'Thank you Mommy' and 'May I please have...?' It's part of socializing your children to be part of the world and helps to equip them to get along with others.

  16. Great post!
    thanks for stopping over today...I'm your newest follower! =)

  17. So many people see manners differently these days. We actually have people correct us when we correct our children to be more polite. "Oh, it's ok." No it's not. "Oh, they don't have to call me ma'am/sir/Mr./Mrs./whatever." Yes, they do.

  18. I am glad that I read this today. I feel the same way and just had a discussion with my mom about manners. During our trip which was still in the same state I live in but far enough north that you were practically in another state. The people there were sooo friendly, helpful and polite unlike most of the people around where I live. I yearn to find a place like that to raise my children. I am teaching my children manners and respect because it the way I was taught to be. People nowadays treat each other soo rudely. It's so sad. I even got the "rude" treatment from a friend on a social media site. I wished her a safe trip this weekend and she never said thank you. How hard is that?
    Sorry that was so long winded.

  19. I have been reading through all of your posts after stopping by this Thanksgiving Thursday to follow back. Your posts have inspired me and are entertaining as well as touching at times. But, after reading this one, I looked around for a button to share this with someone in particular. Have you considered adding that application?
    Bless you and your little chick!



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